Children's Play Is No Place For Weapons

In the Accustomed Chaos household you will find a lot of toys.  Blocks, cars, dolls, puzzles, books, balls, stackables even containers and jars.  What you wont find though are any toys that promote weapon play. No guns. Strict rule.  This was a conscious decision my husband and I made before our first child was born.   

Why?

Guns are not fun. There is nothing fun about them and unless (*) you come from a family who are avid hunters or a military family - there is no real life skill learned there.  Guns are violent and promote only one thing. to kill. 

My husband is not specifically against other 'weapons' like swords or bows.  His reasoning:

When was the last time you heard of someone dying from a sword

I still don't like to promote any type of play that simulates injuring someone else.  I am shocked with the young boys i run into randomly at the store who think running around pretending to shoot me (a stranger) with their hands cocked like guns is ok and fun. Where did their innocence go?  The time where they had no idea what killing was? We are not hardwired to kill. Guns do not help people, there is nothing positive about a gun.  Play shooting someone is not playing.   

I will not tell you what to get or not get for your child but i will not promote it with my children. (*) It's my hope that if you do get your child a weapon 'toy' that you take the time to have a discussion with them about the dangers of weapons, that death by weapon is painful and not make belief.  

I would much rather my child receive a book. 

ps. i love this idea: War Against Improper Toys Drive

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Five Years Ago: Where Has The Time Gone?

I am kind of in shock. Five years. 5. Shocking. My oldest 'baby' is now five years old.  Five years of motherhood. The ups, the downs and the amazingly incredible I have been gifted now for five years.  Five years ago I became known as Mommy. 

I am not sure I could be more proud. Of the boy that he is and the man he is becoming.  He is genuine, caring, smart and adorable.  The perfect combination of awesome and unique and a beautiful blend of my husband and I.  

Growing from this tiny 8 pound baby who didn't sleep for more then 3 hours at a time until he was 2.5 years old - now to this bright kindergarten-er who is learning how to speak French. My mind is baffled on where the time went. seriously.  

I still remember getting the positive pregnancy test and how terrified i was because of the three miscarriages I had before him.  I remember the insane excitement of seeing his perfectly strong heartbeat at our 7 week ultrasound. The 20 week ultrasound when we found out we were going to be a mommy and daddy to a little boy was amazing. 

The past five years have been too incredible for words. It has gone by in a flash. I am so excited for the amazing years to come!

:: Happy 5th Birthday Big P! ::

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Today I Am Grateful For Extended Breastfeeding

As a mommy nothing makes me feel as bad as when my kids are sick.  This week my kids have caught the stomach flu - something that seems to be making the rounds everywhere. With this type of flu I always get really nervous about dehydration. It doesn't take a lot for a child (my kids are young - 4, 3 & 22mo) to get to the point of dehydration and it can be a struggle sometimes to do your best to prevent that from happening.

My kids kind of shut down when they get sick - not wanting to eat or drink or move.  The quiet I will admit is nice, but seeing them so not themselves is a bit heartbreaking.  Getting the older two kids to at least drink some water or diluted juice is easier now then when they were younger but for E is can be a struggle.  I understand too because when I don't feel well, the last thing i want to do with my upset stomach is put food or water in it.

That is why I am so thankful for "extended breastfeeding".  E is 22 months old and our breastfeeding relationship is still going strong.  

She gets the perfect comfort and medicine for when she is sick.  

And I don't have to worry that she is not getting enough liquid - at risk for dehydration - because my body is providing for her.  She  gets her liquid, food and comfort all from me - with an easy-to-digest bonus to it.  

So, today is a big THANK YOU to my breasts and body for making things just a little bit easier for my sweet, sick babe.

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Wordless: My Child Dressed Herself. Can You Tell?

no lies. This is what E {22months} picked out to wear & put it on. Making her diva face.

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Fears & Anxiety In Children: Where Do They Start?

I am a high anxiety lady.  I have been for a long time - well, forever really.  I am not sure why.  I can't seem to pin point it to any particular time or event but I know that I have always been this way.  Along with my anxiety comes some very specific fears and things that amp up my anxiety.  Most of them make really no sense but they have been around forever. always.

What I have been wondering lately is where do my fears and more specifically my children's fears/anxieties come from? they are young so they don't have a lot of exposure to a whole lot and funny enough their anxieties are not the same as mine - so i don't think they are mimicking me.  part of me wonders if our own fears/anxieties come from some sort of instinctual place. 

I read a great book recently that was a love story but also had a huge component about reincarnation. Without being too religious - there really was no religious part to the story - it talked about past lives and how they influence our present lives {eg. your fears are reactions to something that happened in your past life}  in how we live and our fears and the type of people we are drawn to {eg. those people you have an instant connection to are because you knew them in a past life}. 

It got me to thinking - I mean that makes sense.  I am not saying I believe in reincarnation or that i don't but our instincts do guide us.  My daughter R has a fear that just doesn't make sense to me. I mean I can understand why it is there - but not why she has this fear. 

R will get very anxious to the point of crying if a grown man {stranger} enters a room that she is in. Like, if we are at home and a guy comes over that she doesn't know or if she is in her 1 hour preschool class if one of the Dads goes to pick up their child she will start crying... instantly. It doesn't bother her if we are in crowds and doesn't really matter if we are there with her or not - since it happens in our house too.

She is only 3 years old and I know that she has not had any bad even that would have spawned this off. It started nearly 2 years ago and she has never been anywhere other then in my care.  She only started preschool in September {it's only 1 hour a week} so I am sort of baffled as to why she has it or where it came from or even how to help her with it.  Will she grow out of it? 

Do you think fears in instinctual or are they a result of something?  A little of both?  What fears do you have?

Disclaimer: This post was inspired by the book My Name is Memory by Ann Brashares which is this month's book in the EverythingMom National Book Club.  As a Mom Influencer for EverythingMom. I received a complimentary copy of this book for review.

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Said By Kids: What Do Mommy's & Daddy's Do?.

My kids are hilarious. Seriously talking to them sometimes gives me a great view on how they see the world. how our lifestyle shapes them and while they are young - just beginning to venture out into the world and see things on their own they still have a limited view of how other people live.  Here is a conversation we had a few days ago:

Me: P & R what do Mommy's Do?

P & R:

"They cook"
"They clean"
"They take kids to school"
"They fix things"
"They kiss boo boos"
"They make mommy milk"
"They grow babies"
"They check email"
"They get kids snacks"
"They have boo boos a lot"

Me:  What do Daddy's do?

P & R:
"They go to work"
"They give mommy's kisses"
"They drive a van"
"They make things on the computer"
"They watch movies with kids"
"They lose things"
"They sleep a lot"

:: At least our kids know us, right? Ha! ::

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WayBack Wordless: Princess R's Great Discovery ...

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