Thanksgiving: What I Am Thankful For

Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Canadians! I have a lot to be thankful for this year - it has been a really good one both personally and professionally. 

What Am I Thankful For?

1. Three healthy children
2. My husband
3. My mommy and daddy & family
4. Triton
5. Gluten free "oreo" cookies from Kinnikinnick (KinniToos)
6. 2 healthy boys growing in my friends uterus ♥
7. Amazing friends both in real life and online
8. Chai Tea
9. Medication that keeps nerve pain at bay
10. Sunshine
11. French immersion kindergarten & how my son LOVES it
12. Soft tissues for sore noses
13. Co-sleeping and breastfeeding
14. Vanilla scent
15. Everyone of you who reads this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Happy Thanksgiving Fellow Canadians ♥ Accustomed Chaos | Gluten Free Attachment Parenting™ Email: accustomedchaos@gmail.com

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Motherhood: The 3 Faces of Mine

Motherhood is hard. I love it with all I am, but it is hard.  The sleepless nights, the non-adult "conversations" and with 3 young kids I don't always get as much time to myself as I wish.  My husband, who works hard so we can raise our kids with a parent at home, has been promoted at work, which means he is out of the house for 80+ hours some weeks.  Which means there is even less time for me to have to myself.

If you were to run into me out in public you would be able to tell the type of week that I have had.  There are 3 very distinct looks of Devan.  3 looks that will let you know how much my husband has been working, how much sleep I have gotten and how much -or how little- time I have had to myself:

Face 1: If you see me like this I have been having a week from HELL! Yes, I am smiling but if you look past that you will see that I am un-showered - probably for the entire week. Means my husband has been working for 80+ hours and I have been with the kids - without adult conversation for the entire time.  I have clothes covered in peanut butter and snot (because the kids and I are sick) and have had little to no sleep. I can survive on little sleep for a surprising amount of time (it's like my super hero power) but if you see me like this, i am at the end of the sleep zone.

Face 2:  You can see in this one I have at least showered. The dark circles are still under my eyes so I have not been sleeping, but the shower shows I have had at least 15 minutes to myself.  Husband has probably been working overtime, but is either putting it in after the kids have gone to bed or it has only been 2 or 3 days of the week. My clothes are still covered in peanut butter and maybe not snot because the kids are probably not sick.

Face 3:  Ah this one does not come out as often as I like. I am showered, make up on and my hair is straightened.  No more dark circles means the kids have been sleeping better and I might have even been able to snag a sleep in on the weekend. Husband likely just worked his standard 45 hours during the week and I had a some good adult conversation. Maybe my one of my brothers, or sister or a friend came by to visit. 

One day I hope to catch Face 4 where I am showered, make up on and hair done AND clothes that are not covered in peanut butter and snot.  I know that when that day happens I will miss Face 1 where the kids are little and "needed me".  

:: Motherhood isn't always beautiful on me but I would not change it for anything ::

I love hearing from you! Leave a comment below ♥ Accustomed Chaos | Gluten Free Attachment Parenting™ Email: accustomedchaos@gmail.com

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Accustomed Chaos is Heading To NYC & BlogHer

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In just under 2 weeks I will be arriving to NYC for the first time.  I have heard it is one of the places to go, my husband has been,  my parents and sister and now, it is my turn.  I am not just going for the pure fun and joy of it - actually I would not be going at all if a few things didn't come into play for me.

BlogHer - one of the largest conferences for women in blogging & social media is in New York City this year.  Tickets were sold out forever ago and I had just left it at that - I would plan and save to go next year and sit back in jealousy as I read all the tweets & blog post about the amazing time all my friends were having there.  I had entered a few contest to try to win a ticket to BlogHer but as the contests ended and I did not win I was okay with that and moved on.

Then the most amazing thing happened. It was my anniversary morning (July 10th) and I was checking my email when someone left a comment on my site saying congrats for winning a ticket to BlogHer. I thought for sure she had me mixed up with someone else but decided to check on it.  Opened up twitter & had all these messages to me congratulating on winning.  Turns out the contest I entered at Mamavation had been re-opened and I was selected as the winner of 1 full ticket to BlogHer and had 2 hours to reply back!

Then I got started right away on all the plans I had to make! Thankfully everything has been coming together so quickly & easily for me and that puts me at so much ease.  Passport was the first thing that I had to take care of - then came the business cards and hotel, travel and money.

I am so thrilled to announce my sponsor for BlogHer. The amazing company I will be representing is one that I FULLY stand behind and they have also been a huge supporter of myself and Accustomed Chaos. 

Kinnikinnick Foods mission statement is to provide Celiacs, people with Autism and other people with special dietary requirements with an uncontaminated, risk free source of food products.  I honestly stand by the company and their food is a huge part of our daily life and I am so excited to represent them.

So, with BlogHer now less then 2 weeks away - I am trying to prepare myself and my kids for my absence. I entertained the idea of bringing all of them or just Baby E with me but have decided against that. It will be my first time away from her since she was born and the first time we will have to sleep with out each other at night {since we are still co sleeping}.  I have an amazing family and I know she will be just fine without me for a few days - I just have to get over my anxieties about it. 

If you are going to be in New York on August 6th & 7th and would like to get together - send me an email [accustomedchaos at gmail.com] and we will make plans!

:: Any tips on preparing myself & the kids for me being away? ::

:: Any safe gluten free recommendations for restaurants in NY?::

I love hearing from you! Leave a comment below ♥ Accustomed Chaos / Canada Gluten Free Examiner Email: accustomedchaos@gmail.com

              

Friendships, Motherhood and Life

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I was having a conversation with my sister yesterday on our way back from a little shopping excursion and it is still playing in my mind.  An interesting topic that we both seemed to struggle with and a question neither had the answer to.  Since I have the worlds greatest blogging buddies I thought I would throw the question to you. 

How do you make new friends as an adult?

When I was younger it was easy to make friends. I was in school full time, I had a job and that is where the majority of my friends were from. We had a lot in common because we were studying the same thing in school and were in the same classes and were then "forced" to hang out with each other every day.  

I noticed things changed a lot for me when I graduated from college and got married that summer.  I had some of my best college {and a few high school} friends at my wedding and in my wedding.  It was wonderful to share that experience with them.  They held my hand as I grieved my first 3 miscarriages and then suddenly a lot changed when I had Big P.  I noticed a few of my friends stopped calling and we weren't seeing each other nearly at all.  I get it - we were no longer in the same life situation - we had little in common. It still hurt.  

I have some great friends in my life who I sadly don't get to see nearly enough. They are mothers too and we all know how difficult it can be to find time for ourselves, let alone time for friends who live 40 minutes away. It really is not practical to get together once a week for girl time.  Most of the time I am only able to connect with them through an email once in a while.  It is the result of our busy lives and a bit of traveling distance {and of course my inability to drive, which makes it even harder.}

I see on television shows and movies wonderful groups of friends {like Sex and the City or Friends} and find myself wondering how many women actually have that in their life.  Are you still friends with women who you have known forever, who are in different life situations and still find time to meet up at least once a month?  I find myself craving that and the more I think about it the more I realize that.

Like I was saying - my sister and I were talking about how you meet new friends as an adult?  Since there is no school curriculum "forcing" people with a similar interest together and in my case, no job outside the house, how do you make new friends? 

::Where do you find that common ground that brings you together and you build a true friendship upon?:: 

I love hearing from you! Leave a comment below ♥ Accustomed Chaos / Canada Gluten Free Examiner Email: accustomedchaos@gmail.com

              

Wordless: New Hair Transformation

MUCH needed haircut {please excuse the tiredness}

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Battling Back to Normal and New Hope

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I have not really touched on this topic yet and I really don't want to get too much into it right now - but for the past 3 years I have been battling with some intense health issues.  In 2007 everything changed for me and I have since been fighting to get somewhere back to "normal" since everything changed. 

I have seen more specialists then I can count, been given different possible diagnoses, have had an embarrassing amount of testings done and yesterday I met with my third neurologist and for the first time I feel he is on to something.  I am so thankful to have met him, been given a new plan of action and best of all - what he thinks is going on is NOT life threatening like I had been told in the past.  ::Breathing again::

I still have a long way to go - somehow this busy mom of 3 is going to have to fit in 2 physiotherapy sessions a week, 2 massage therapy sessions a week, take new medication daily that causes fatigue and weight gain {but works so well with the nerve pain} and much more testing to be done.  

I am so hopeful, which is hard because I have been let down over the past three years - been told that this is something I am going to have to live with and it will get worse - but I am hopeful that this new neurologist has hit the problem on the head and this constant state of chaos will slow down or even go away completely!

This is not going to be easy - both the physio and massage I have been told are going to be painful and taxing but I am actually looking forward to it. It is something I can actively do to try to make myself better and that is at least something!  

One day I am hopeful that I will be feeling 100% healthy! If you know me in real life you would know how incredible that feeling would be for me.  I have a long road, some other health issues to clear up {knee and ankle surgery coming up + more kidney ultrasounds} but those are not even remotely as debilitating as this constant vertigo, numbness and pain I have been dealing with for 3 years.  

I have hope now that i might not have multiple sclerosis. That this might be something that could actually go away.  I have hope for the first time in 3 years that my kids will not have to watch their mom suffer from this. I know that this is not official - that the testing and waiting is still real but i have hope - and that is something!

Edited to Add: McLinky for Raising Madison Blog Hop #FindingHope

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Guest-Post-A-Palooza

This week has been a really exciting one for me because I have had the opportunity to guest post on 3 different blogs this week.  I am always so nervous about writing at a 'different home' because - well, like everyone - I want to be liked - and they have a different audience ;)

Come check me out and leave some comment love if you can relate to the posts at all and as always - thank you for your support!

Life Without Pink:  Putting Me On The Important List: Why I am happier because of letting go of the mommy guilt and giving me some "me" time.

Chill, Mama, Chill: Attacked By The Swine Flu: How 10 days of the swine flu + husband with pneumonia made me lose my marbles with Photo Proof!

In Between Together: Before I Became A Mother:  Things I never could have imagined about motherhood and how it has changed me for the better.

Big Thanks to Tina, Brandee and Amanda for inviting me over to your 'homes' and letting me share my craziness with your readers ♥

  

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Mommy Guilt, "Important List" and Happiness

Today I am thrilled to be hanging out at Tina's space - Life Without Pink - talking about mommy guilt, why I have put me on the "important list" and how I am happier for it.

Head over and be sure to check out the rest of Life Without Pink

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Taking Off The Mommy Mask

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Today I am taking off the mommy mask.  I have been getting a lot of questions lately about how I deal with 3 kids and keep my sanity.  How I am able to handle 3 kids (more kids then hands) all day, everyday and manage to get everything done?

Here is the truth for you all - I am not and I don't (always).  Since I became a mother I had always felt that everyone seems to "make it all work" and no one ever seemed to talk about or show that they could not just keep up.  I always felt so guilty and ashamed because I saw these Moms with their perfectly cleaned houses, perfectly behaved, well-dressed children and they were always 'done up' to the max.  What were they doing that I just couldn't seem to achieve??

What took me almost three years to figure out is that all those mom's are either lying, stressing, have a lot of help or are very rare.  

We all know being a mom is hard work. Whether we are stay at home moms, work from home moms, part time working moms or full time working moms.  It is hard to balance it all and stay sane.  The illusion that it is easy is a crock of sh*t and with all of us pretending it is easy and simple does not help anyone.

I totally get the need to appear perfect. I am a huge culprit of that in my life.  I find the need to keep that image up so much more when I am surrounded by people who also appear to have all their sh*t together.  I don't get why we all just can't be honest with each other. I refuse to pretend anymore and perpetuate the guilt (especially new mom guilt where they only see people who are able to do it all). I am going to start it off by being honest - so here I go:

I Have A Bad Case of Baby Fever!

Big P, Princess R and Baby E

Help! I need help! All I can think about is babies and I have it bad. I am in that age group where everyone seems to be having baby #1 or baby #2 and I find myself wishing for it all over again. 

We are not trying to have another baby yet. We are still trying to find the balance with everything with the three kids we have. Big P will be starting kindergarten this year (aaahhh) and I know that will bring on a whole new set of challenges and require us to develop a whole new routine.  

I have been sitting wondering why I think I have this baby fever. Is it that I am missing the baby stages, the pregnancy, feel like someone is missing?  I think really it comes down to all of that.  I have been pregnant for what feels like 5 years straight! With the three kids being so close in age and all the miscarriages in between - pregnancy and babies has been our goal for a long time.  I have been pregnant - at one stage or another - almost every summer and this one is going to feel different. I am not used to different so I think that might be what is really going on.

Blondes Really Do Have More Fun

My New Year's Resolution this year was to try to experience new things and to do something out of my comfort zone.  I am not big on change (like NOT at all). I can handle life changes (like 3 kids 3.5 years apart) but I am not really comfortable with changing something as simple as my hair. 

The last time I did something different with my hair was back in 2007.  I had just had my second child and was going through some health issues and needed a new start.  I had long hair for as long as I could remember - actually the last time I cut my hair (other then the 6mo trims) was back in 1999 - so I had been growing it for 8 years! I decided one day that I was going to cut it short.  I cut off 15 inches to be exact - a HUGE change and donated my hair to a great charity Locks Of Love. I was SO glad I decided to cut it and I have not gone back since.  

My long hair back in August 2007

My new hairdo and the 15" I cut off to donate to Locks of Love

So back to this year and my New Year's Resolution.  Since my hair is still short I decided to try something I have always been afraid to do but have always wanted to do at the same time... go BRUNETTE. 

On January 1, 2010 I went for it- I was now a brunette!  It was a HUGE step for me and I was surprised that my kids didn't seem to mind. I was sure my youngest would have a freak out (she freaks out when I just wear a hat) but it didn't faze her at all, thankfully!  It took so much for me to get used to, but I didn't hate it. 

Me with my new dark hair (no makeup - ick) January 2010

I was happy with how little upkeep there was to the brown hair. I didn't have to worry about chlorine staining my hair green or if my hair went a day or two without washing (honesty here ... I'm a busy mom so that happens, sometimes a lot) it didn't look a totally different colour and for some reason it helped me feel grown up and new.

A month or so later I started to get a strange sense of an identity crisis. I had been blond for 27 years and this new, much darker 'do was starting to make me feel dull and that's not a good feeling ... so ...

Back to blond - April 2010

I went back to blond. It is not as light as it was before but with the summer coming up it will lighten up and so will I.  The saying really is true (for me) that blonds really do have more fun.  I am so happy I tried something new because that was SO far out of my comfort zone and I can now say I did it!

Do you have a hard time changing your hair or am I strange?

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Coming Out of Winter Hibernation!

Summer in the backyard and my modest garden (July 2009)

Spring has finally arrived this week. The weather is forecasting wonderful sunshine and temperatures that will not require me to rope the three kids into giant snow suits - AH! 

Spring for me means happiness - it brings me out of hibernation - literally. During the winter a lot of my independence is taken away because of the weather.  Here in Ontario, Canada we get snow - some years lots and some years it's not so bad. Since I am not able to drive, my mode of transportation are my feet, double stroller and Moby Wrap and/or public transportation and with the snow. The city I live in does not take care of clearing the sidewalks from snow very well and since I don't have snow tires for my stroller I don't don't easily get out of the house - hibernation for me is December - March. 

Normally I walk to the library with the kids, the community centre, the grocery store, splash park and multiple playgrounds nearby.  I swear sanity is in the quiet outdoors. My kids can be as loud as they want and it wont drive me up the wall.  The chaos is spread out because I don't have all three climbing on me at one time while trying to cook, clean, and fold laundry at the same time.  I find so much happiness in sitting outside with the kids, going for walks, keeping up my garden and basking in the sunshine.

This spring/summer marks another meaning for me because it is the last summer before my first child starts school. My oldest will be going into senior kindergarten this year (we didn't enroll him in JK) and I have some new routines to get him into and a lot of activities I want to fit in before I release him into the world (that is a whole new panic/rant).


What are you most looking forward to this spring/summer?

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Can I Start Today Over? NO?! Seriously...

Oh boy, this morning is one of those days I wish I could just start over. Nothing hugely horrible has happened or anything, really just the chaos of life with three little ones.  

I should have known what kind of day I was going to have when my youngest (E, 13 mo old) woke me up at 5am crying. She sleeps in our room, on a mattress on the floor and she crawled onto my bed.  She had her immunizations on Tuesday so I am assuming she was still uncomfortable from those.  She wanted to nurse, so she latched on.  We are very comfortable with the lying down and nursing thing so I just fell asleep.  Three hours later I wake up and she is still breastfeeding. Clue #1 this is going to be a frustrating morning - headache from dehydration due to excessively long breastfeeding session.

When my other 2 children woke up and came into my room to get me out of bed, I was given my second clue for what was about to come.  My oldest is 4 and he is, how do I put this politely?, um 'particular'.  He likes to have things the way he wants them and this morning he had it in his mind that he did not have to wear underwear today ... or pants. Clue #2 - a ridiculously long conversation about why you need to wear underwear with my overtired son. 

When that conversation was over and my son was finally dressed, I come downstairs to find the dining room littered with tiny, white marshmallows.  Seriously. Marshmallows.  Clue #3. Apparently my cats thought it would a fun treat to scratch through the bag I had left on the table and try to eat them. When my 2 older kids saw this - everything hit the fan. I bought them those marshmallows as a treat yesterday at the store. We don't get them often at all and they were looking forward to them.  So, now I had to deal with the meltdown of my 4 year old and 3 year old and clean up the bag of marshmallows on the floor (only to find cat puke in there too, of course).  

All of this and it's not even 11am yet.  I still have the rest of the day to look forward to. I would love it if I could start the day over.  I am already counting down the hours to when my husband gets home (8 hours 12 minutes and counting) and I can have a glass of wine.  

Mommies/Daddies/Parents - when your day starts off looking quite grim and you know (as much as you wish you could) that you can not literally start the day over, how do you turn it around and make the most of the day? What is your trick?

 
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2009: A Year In Reflection

December 31, 2009 - the end of the year - and the start of a new decade to come!

This year has brought the addition of an amazing family member - born February 20, 2009 - my blue eyed baby bird :D Time always goes quickly with children and now that I've got 3 this year just seemed to fly by. She was the only one i have successfully breastfed past 4 months - she is 10mo old and we're still going strong. A BIG goal i had that i have accomplished - which feels great!

My second child's weight issue has been solved by placing her on the gluten free diet. She is no longer under weight, over tired, over thirsty with thinning hair! She has transformed into a beautiful, smart girl and continues to thrive!!

Deciding not to enroll P into pre-k was a big decision that paid off! It gave him the year to get to know his new littlest sister, to gain some independence and he is now excited and looking forward to going to kindergarten in September!! Oh my...

June marked 10 years since my first date with my husband - my high school sweetheart - we have been inseparable since and in July we marked our 5th wedding anniversary.

Challenges have come with this year - the biggest being my ongoing mystery health issue. Dealing with the possibility of being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis or Lupus in 2010 is scary - but i have to face it head on - and learn everything i can in the process.

My Goals for 2010:

:: To learn to relax
:: To drink more water and LESS soda
:: To try new things
:: To "Spice Up" all areas of my life
:: To make myself a priority
:: To continue to face each day and each strange symptom with strength
:: To not let what ever is attacking my body take me down

Thanks to my family for helping me struggle through this year.
Thanks to the new friends i have re-connected with - i hope to spend more time with you
Thanks to my children for their patience and love
Thanks to my husband for all your support!!

Wishing everyone a happy New Year!!