Taking Off The Mommy Mask

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Today I am taking off the mommy mask.  I have been getting a lot of questions lately about how I deal with 3 kids and keep my sanity.  How I am able to handle 3 kids (more kids then hands) all day, everyday and manage to get everything done?

Here is the truth for you all - I am not and I don't (always).  Since I became a mother I had always felt that everyone seems to "make it all work" and no one ever seemed to talk about or show that they could not just keep up.  I always felt so guilty and ashamed because I saw these Moms with their perfectly cleaned houses, perfectly behaved, well-dressed children and they were always 'done up' to the max.  What were they doing that I just couldn't seem to achieve??

What took me almost three years to figure out is that all those mom's are either lying, stressing, have a lot of help or are very rare.  

We all know being a mom is hard work. Whether we are stay at home moms, work from home moms, part time working moms or full time working moms.  It is hard to balance it all and stay sane.  The illusion that it is easy is a crock of sh*t and with all of us pretending it is easy and simple does not help anyone.

I totally get the need to appear perfect. I am a huge culprit of that in my life.  I find the need to keep that image up so much more when I am surrounded by people who also appear to have all their sh*t together.  I don't get why we all just can't be honest with each other. I refuse to pretend anymore and perpetuate the guilt (especially new mom guilt where they only see people who are able to do it all). I am going to start it off by being honest - so here I go:

Self Esteem: Girls vs The Media

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I am scared for my daughters. I am scared that they will grow up in an even more “self-esteem tear down culture” then we are in now.  I am scared they are going to hate their bodies and themselves and place more value on their beauty then it's worth.


I know this is not new information to anyone – it's not new to me either. Since I had children – my 2 girls specifically – I have found myself a lot more aware of all the images that could potentially 'bring them down'.  When I had my girls I made a promise to myself to work on my self esteem and self image so that I can teach and model healthy images for my daughters.  It is hard – I am still struggling with it – but it's for them.

At times it seems overwhelming and sort of pointless. I know I am going to have to 'release' my girls into the world when they start school – they will be more aware of the media out there and I can't shield them away from it forever.  I am afraid that the media will just become more sexualized in time and hide the advertising behind a 'better purpose'.


The Dove campaign (Campaign For Real Beauty) is a campaign that seems to be trying to work on self esteem for women and girls. I have a mixed feeling about what I have seen from this campaign though. If I see their ads on tv and visit their website – they are still featuring (yes, not model thin and some are older) women prancing around in their underwear. Still not a healthy image I want my daughters to be exposed to – they are still selling a product using a woman's body.


One main issue I have with something I have seen from Dove's Campaign For Real Beauty advertising is a particular commercial they name “Onslaught”.  The idea (from what I am gathering) behind this idea is to nail home the point that sexualized advertisements are harmful for young girls.   However, if you watch this advertisement – a whole 1 minute and 22 seconds – perhaps you will see the same issue I have with this:

 

Dove is in the beauty industry and they are doing exactly what they are trying to preach against – hiding it behind a self esteem campaign. Although their slogan “talk to your daughter before the beauty industry does” is a powerful message –  they have shown more sexualized images in this 1 and a half minutes then any other commercial I have seen – ever. 

I know that this is just one commercial and one part of the campaign – perhaps I am being a bit too critical – but I really feel that this whole message is a giant oxymoron and really turns me off of their whole campaign and message. There is NO way they could not have seen the irony in their statement and this video. 

I definitely feel this campaign has an ulterior motive. They are in the beauty industry and are still doing harm – hiding behind a campaign because women want to believe there are companies and products out there for everyone – I do not believe their bull sh*t.

Anyone know of a campaign/company/non profit group that are actually doing what they preach and looking out for our daughters?

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