Today I am taking off the mommy mask. I have been getting a lot of questions lately about how I deal with 3 kids and keep my sanity. How I am able to handle 3 kids (more kids then hands) all day, everyday and manage to get everything done?
Here is the truth for you all - I am not and I don't (always). Since I became a mother I had always felt that everyone seems to "make it all work" and no one ever seemed to talk about or show that they could not just keep up. I always felt so guilty and ashamed because I saw these Moms with their perfectly cleaned houses, perfectly behaved, well-dressed children and they were always 'done up' to the max. What were they doing that I just couldn't seem to achieve??
What took me almost three years to figure out is that all those mom's are either lying, stressing, have a lot of help or are very rare.
We all know being a mom is hard work. Whether we are stay at home moms, work from home moms, part time working moms or full time working moms. It is hard to balance it all and stay sane. The illusion that it is easy is a crock of sh*t and with all of us pretending it is easy and simple does not help anyone.
I totally get the need to appear perfect. I am a huge culprit of that in my life. I find the need to keep that image up so much more when I am surrounded by people who also appear to have all their sh*t together. I don't get why we all just can't be honest with each other. I refuse to pretend anymore and perpetuate the guilt (especially new mom
guilt where they only see people who are able to do it all). I am going to start it off by being honest - so here I go:
- I rarely wear make up during the day {like hardly ever}
- My hair is always up in a pony tail
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| This is what I look like {with 3hrs of sleep last night} during the day |
- My kids don't always sleep well and I rarely get sleep
- I wear the same pants for days {track pants} because there's no point - they will just get covered in peanut butter
- I have had to go days without showering
- My kids talk back sometimes
- My 3yr old still refuses to use the toilet {"diapers are my favourite" is what she will say}
- My laundry room would impress you - I never find time to get it done
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| Laundry sitting in the kids play room |
My job as a stay at home mom is to take care of the kids first. They are my main priority and if that means the kitchen doesn't get cleaned today or I don't get a shower in - so be it. I am not going to be bound by the unrealistic standards and I am too tired and too busy to worry about what image I portray.
There are a few things that I prioritize that do always get done in a day. I home cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I do have dinner ready for my husband when he gets home and I do {now} make time for myself to write. I know some people might be rolling their eyes wondering that if i have laundry to do - why am I sitting here typing. It took me a LONG time to factor in my needs. I need to be in the priority list above laundry - I have been to crazy and back before I gave myself the right to be on that list.
I am so lucky that I have family around who help me out a lot. My younger brother has been a lifesaver to me especially. He will come over a few times a week (most weeks) and help me entertain the kids, or watch them so I can go grocery shopping or just to have an adult to talk to during the day.
My life lesson: When your kids are older and look back on their childhood what would you like them to remember: that they had a spotlessly clean house but stressed out mommy or that they had a happy well-balanced, fun mommy?
My secret to survival: I am accustomed to the chaos -seriously. I am used to never getting everything done in the day and I have become okay with that. It will not always be this way and I can see that.
Let go of trying to obtain the perfect image - you are busy enough and it's not worth your time!
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