Today is a tough day for me babe. A date that for others really has no meaning, but for me it is a pain spot and will be for who knows how long - maybe forever. Two years ago today was your due date. If you were still with me today we would be celebrating your 2nd birthday, Triton. Party hats and cake instead of a lonely day to myself.
I wish I could see what you look like. I imagine you look like a mixture of your brother P and your youngest sister E -- beautiful blonde hair and big brown eyes. I wonder if you have the imagination of your sister R or if you would be into cars or art or music. Answers that will never be answered for me - just played out in my imagination and if I am lucky, you will visit me again in a dream.
I miss you. Some don't understand that - I hope they don't ever have to. Such confusing emotions. A grief people don't understand unless they have been there. unspoken. misunderstood. None of that matters to me though - as i write to you - i know you matter.
you matter to me.
I wish others could have met you.
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